Do You Self-Sabotage?

If you aren’t succeeding, growing, or thriving like you think you should be, you are most likely the problem. Ask yourself: Do I self-sabotage?

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If you are looking for a sign to get out of bed, take a shower, walk outside, or a simple reminder that you are important: Here it is! This is your sign!

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*This post contains affiliate links. I do receive a small commission if you purchase a product using my link, with no addition cost to you! I promise that Becoming the Best Self will never promote anything that has not been used, fully looked into, or that we do not fully support!*

 

Self Sabotage [Part 3]

PODCAST AVAILABLE

 

I want to start by letting you know that this post is a part of our series on self-sabotage.

Throughout the remainder of this month, we’re going to look at all things self-sabotage: what it is, how to stop, how it affects us and why we do it!

If you think you may be self-sabotaging your life, work, goals, or relationship(s), I promise you- you’re in the right place! 

(Make sure you become our email friend by clicking here. This way, you can stay up to date throughout this series. We’ll let you know each time a new post is up and give you even more tips than these posts provide. Also, you’ll get first dibs on our freebies and products!)

 

 

I know by now you’re probably wondering how (and why) we are going to talk about self-sabotage for an entire month. 

To answer why: Quite frankly, we think this is a tremendously important topic.

Sure, there’s a lot of various information out there. But we wanted to give you a single place (becoming the best self) where you could learn all about self-sabotage, recognize it, and grow from it.

And, we didn’t want to make each post 3,000+ words long. We know sometimes you need a quick fix, not an entire book. 

So, we took the liberty of breaking down (what were) our original few posts into shorter, more detailed posts! (Which answers how.)

This series is set up so that you can come to your exact question, or you can follow along in the order they’re posted. 

Since we have already explained what self-sabotage is, we don’t have to go into that definition again!

We’ve also already looked at 15 reasons why we self-sabotage.

By understanding the what and the why, we can begin focusing on recognizing it in our own lives.

Which leads us right into today’s topic:

 

Am I full of self-sabotage?

Now, we’re going to keep it short today. But, we are going to get real. 

First things first: If you aren’t succeeding, growing, or thriving like you think you should be, you are most likely the problem.

Sounds a little harsh? Good. 

You can’t even begin to fix your life until you recognize that you may be the one destroying it.

[Now, before we go any further, I do want to say that outside forces will obviously play a role in the outcome of your life. But, you are in charge of making sure you keep pushing through when life knocks you down.]

In our next post, we’re going to get into specific ways we self-sabotage. Today, I just want us to take the time to really look inward and see if we recognize signs of self-sabotage.

Now, for some people, they don’t have to even think about this question. You may say, “Yeah, I definitely self-destruct and sabotage my life.” If that’s you, go ahead and skip down to the last few paragraphs where we talk about how to stop these behaviors.

But, maybe you’re the opposite. Maybe the idea of ruining your own life is shocking. If that’s you, there are seemingly two options on the life you’re living:

1. You are absolutely in love with your life! You are successful (however you see fit) and are regularly pretty happy!
2. Or, you don’t know why you can’t get where you feel like you need to be.

If you are the first person, heck yeah! Congrats, and I’m so proud of you. But, stay with us and learn these behaviors so that you can continue avoiding them AND potentially help someone else work through them.

If you are the second person, it’s okay. You are why we are here! You are what this post is about. You are who we are going to focus on and ultimately strive to help.

 

How do I know if I am self-sabotaging?

Here’s the kicker- we all sabotage our lives differently and for different reasons. But, let’s go ahead and look at a few general ways we self-sabotage.

 

• “I don’t deserve (love, happiness, success, etc.)”

Okay, listen. Most of the time, the feeling of being undeserving comes from trauma. And, that trauma can be from a variety of things- your family, childhood, past relationships, etc. 

But, how you handle your trauma is up to you. 

I know that’s easy for me to type on a keyboard. I also know that growing from your trauma may be harder than reading a blog post. You may need to work through your trauma with a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. 

All of those options are perfectly fine and perfectly normal. As long as you are doing it in a healthy manner, it doesn’t matter how you go about dealing with your trauma.

You just have to make sure you do deal with it.

I also want to remind you that you are absolutely deserving of loving every bit of your life.

You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be respected. You deserve the promotions you’ve worked hard for. You deserve selfless love (from both yourself and a partner). You deserve the world. 

You deserve everything you want, when you work for it. 

So, I am encouraging you to stop saying you don’t deserve things, and start working to make sure you get them.

Work on your happiness. Even if it gets heavy, work on your relationship(s). When you find it hard to look in the mirror, prioritize working on your self-care to fall in love with yourself. 

If you are a ‘I don’t deserve-er’, just go ahead and stop that. Start working on where you want to be, because you DO deserve it

 

• “I’ll do it later”

Okay, procrastinator, I see you. 

If you are the one who leaves everything to be done at the very last minute, this section is for you.

You do not work best under pressure. You may think you do, because that’s the only option you’ve ever given yourself. I’m telling you, though, that you don’t.

So, STOP! Stop putting things off and do them when you know you first should.

I know this can be a hard habit to break. But, I’m here to say that even just the amount of stress that is released when you stop procrastinating is worth the amount of effort it is going to take to break this routine.

If you need help with staying productive, you can check out this productivity bundle that teaches you how to set and reach your goals. We also have a post on boosting your productivity if you want some quick tips.

 

• The substances

Before we go any further, let’s kinda define ‘substance abuse’. Substance abuse is when you are abusing… substances. Shocker, right?

But, here’s where most people get confused.

Substance abuse is not just overdosing on heroin on a Tuesday morning. It’s not getting plastered every night and losing your house. It’s not even just drunk driving and the shakes.

Sometimes, substance abuse can be having a few glasses of wine because you’re sad.

Rather than deal with your feelings, you just drink a little. Then, that becomes your routine. Just drink so you don’t focus on what you’re feeling. It’s easier, right?

Substance abuse may be having two or three beers a night because you’ve had a long day. (Not productive, just saying.)

It’s also getting blackout drunk because you can’t say no to the next free drink. Even if it’s just once a month, why?

Now, I’m not categorizing you as an alcoholic or an addict. What I am doing, though, is telling you that you are abusing alcohol if those are patterns that fit into your life.

Can you have a healthy drinking life? Absolutely some people can. But, others can’t. It’s not my job to tell you which one you fall under, but if you are abusing any substance, you are self-sabotaging.

(I see a whole post on alcoholism coming in the future…)

If it doesn’t add any benefit to your life, why are you doing it?

I know this whole part probably sounds like I’m preaching to stop drinking. And, I’m not. 

(I drink. Sometimes too much and when I know I shouldn’t. I honestly do recognize that there are times I have directly self-sabotaged my life as a consequence- and outcome- of drinking. As usual, I’m #workingonit)

But, I know my audience is roughly adults in their 20s or 30s. This is a taboo topic and I hate that it is. It needs to be talked about, so I wanted to add it here.

You may have no problem with substance abuse, and that’s wonderful! 

Or, you may. And, if you do, or think you do, reach out to me. I’m here. I’ll do my best to get you some of the best information, support, and contacts I can.

 

So, what now?

That got pretty heavy, huh? I told you we were going to get real today.

“Okay, Jess. I understand that I self-sabotage. So, what do I do now?”

At the beginning of this series, we talked about changing our mindset. 

Because that’s all self-sabotage really boils down to: where is your mind at?

Here are a few affirmations I want you to give yourself before we wrap up this post! Say them out loud, write them down, memorize them.

1. I will not sabotage my own success.

2. I will be successful.

3. I deserve happiness.

4. I will stop procrastinating.

5. I will work through my emotions and feelings.

 

(Also, we’ll VERY soon be announcing something great we have in store to help you shift your mindset, so make sure you get our emails!)

 

Lastly, I believe in you. I just want you to know that.

On the next post, we’ll look at more specific ways to recognize self-sabotage:

33 Ways You Are Self-Sabotaging

 

If you found this post beneficial, or think it could be beneficial to your friends or family, make sure you share it to your social media or through texts and emails! 

I always love hearing from you, so don’t be afraid to drop a comment below, email me, or reach out to me on Instagram! (Oh! Also, don’t forget to check out our new Facebook page. That’s also a great way to stay up to date with our posts!)

We are so excited to have you working on your self-growth as we start tackling our self-sabotaging behavior to strive for our best selves!

 

As always, if you need a sign to take care of yourself: this is it.

Understand what self-sabotage it.

Have an honest reality check with yourself.

Change your mindset.

Because as we all know:

you are the most vital character in your story!

*This post contains affiliate links. I do receive a small commission if you purchase a product using my link, with no addition cost to you! I promise that Becoming the Best Self will never promote anything that has not been used, fully looked into, or that we do not fully support!*

 

Peace out, girl scouts!

… and always aim to be the best self you can be.