Long Distance Dating (during a pandemic)

Long distance dating can be challenging within itself. But, then, adding on a pandemic? Here’s the insight I can give you.

 

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If you are looking for a sign to get out of bed, take a shower, walk outside, or a simple reminder that you are important: Here it is! This is your sign!

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Standing 6 inches from you is hard enough.

Long Distance Dating During a ‘No End In Sight’ Pandemic

 

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Let me start off by reassuring you this is not going to be an intense COVID-19 “shut everything down” post. Nor is it going to be “How-To-Date-During-A-Pandemic”. We’ll look at this as more of a life update, during a pandemic, while in a long distance relationship. I just have Some things to say, so why not do it on my blog.

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Alright. I’m just going to jump right in, so, let’s rewind back to about a month ago when life started getting a little crazy.

 

March 13.

FrIdAy ThE tHiRtEeNtH.

 

Mr. J came down to stay with us for that weekend and, if I remember correctly, coronavirus was just becoming a mere thought within our country. He headed home that Sunday, but then I left March 25th to go see him for a long weekend!

 

Of course, by then, social distancing was in pretty full effect and stay-at-home orders were starting to be enforced throughout various states. 

 

We obeyed. (Even though he is as much of a rule follower as I am a rule breaker, I am the one that made sure we went by the lawful orders, due to coming back to a job with older  “at risk” people.)

 

As far as ‘going out’, we went to the beach, which was by NO means packed. Everyone was definitely spread apart, significantly more than six feet. We also had Clorox wipes on deck for anything and everything we touched, before and after. SO DON’T COME AT ME RIGHT NOW.

 

We quarantined. Also, I had been with him within the two weeks prior, and his job immediately quarantined all staff when they went back to work. So, any germs we were going to get, we already had. I was just breathing a different state’s air.  Nothing more, nothing less.

 

 

Now, if you know our relationship, or really just me, you know that Mr. J and I always plan the next time we’ll be together, during the time we are currently together. It’s like a “hey, I know I gotta leave, but we get to look forward to ‘x’ date!”

 

(Side note- this is something I always recommend when people ask for long distance advice. Always have something to look forward to!)

 

Well, with everything going on, my family’s Edisto Beach spring break trip was canceled. Since I already had that time off, we decided I would go back to see him that particular week! 

 

GREAT, right?! I’d get back home on the 30th and then head back for 10 DAYS from April 3rd- April 12th!

 

Except coronavirus (and my job) had entirely different plans.

 

While I was heading back that Monday afternoon, to work Tuesday-Friday, my job texted me to let me know I was to self-isolate for two weeks before returning to my office.

 

SO. My 10-day vacation to go see my bestfriend was abruptly shut down. (Yes, they knew I was going to see him when I asked for the time off. Yes, it was approved. No, I didn’t know that this was going to happen.  Hindsight, I would have waited and gone spring break instead and then isolated two weeks after. Duh.)

 

I was left with two options: go back to stay with my absolute world and choose to not have income until further notice or self-isolate for two weeks and not see Jesh until further notice.

 

Now, obviously, I chose the former… because I’d personally rather be living in a box with him than sitting here getting a check, with no end date of COVID-19 in sight. (When I tell y’all I am in love with this man… oof. Drastic understatement.)

 

But, my better (and probably smarter) half decided I should stay home to avoid worse consequences (states or cities shutting down, etc.)

 

So, here I am. In Georgia. Without him.

 

(And don’t get me wrong, I love my little family. My mom, dad, and brother are literally my favorite people. But obviously, it’s different. They get it. I actually think my parents are shocked I didn’t risk it and go back up there, because I know [and they know] they definitely would have, if they were in my shoes.)

 

(Did I mention he is quarantined right now? As in, for the first time, in I can’t remember how long, he could literally just be chilling with me and not have to go In for work?)

 

I feel like now is an opportune time to point out that Mr. J and I were just getting used to seemingly being the closest we have been throughout our entire relationship.

 

I’ve been in Georgia the whole time, but he’s been going all over the country and world! Yes, I’ve luckily been able to plan trips to go see him, which has been absolutely great, but now he is only a 7 hour drive away from me and I don’t even get to take advantage of that.

 

 

Now, I know you’re probably thinking, “Okay, Jess. So be thankful he’s closer. Be thankful you have job, you both have jobs. Be thankful you have a car to travel in. Be thankful. Be ThAnKfUl.”

 

Listen, I am so thankful for all of these things. I’m so thankful we’re both safe and healthy. I’m thankful we live in a time with so much technology to make this a little easier. I’m thankful we are making it work. I’m thankful we have good support. I’m thankful this is about the only problem I am facing right now.

 

I am thankful.

 

But let me be very clear: this SUCKS. I think it was easier when he was across the country or even in a different country. It made sense that I couldn’t be with him. It made sense that FaceTime and phone calls were our only options. It made sense that I wouldn’t be able to see him for a month.

 

It seriously all just… made sense.

 

But now that nothing in the world right now makes a bunch of sense to anyone… I am struggling. I am struggling with the fact that I do not know when I’ll get to see my boyfriend next. I am struggling knowing our one year mark is literally right around the corner and there’s a 99.999999% chance we won’t get to spend it together. (I might as well say 100%, but with tears running down my face, I am not ready to accept that.)

 

I am struggling knowing that he was coming down for my graduation, and not only is graduation canceled, but he won’t even be able to come down that weekend.

 

 I am ultimately struggling not knowing when life will go back to normal.

 

I know we all are.

 

Now, I will say… I do know God is in control. I’m not jumping on my pulpit, and my faith can sometimes unintentionally be weak, but He’s got us. I know it. And, I do believe everything does happen for a reason. And I do firmly believe we, and America- if not the entire universe as a whole- will be better than ever when all of this ends.

 

 

I know my struggle may seem small. I’m sure to many, this is probably dumb, and not even something that should be considered a struggle, much less typed as an entire blog post.

 

I don’t completely disagree.

 

But, y’all, my heart is hurting right now.

 

Life was getting really *I mean REALLY* good, and then we all got thrown this big loop.

 

#thanks2020

 

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So, what is a long distance relationship during a no end in sight pandemic like?

 

Right now, it’s pretty soul crushing. It’s knowing we are both at a house, but it’s not really our home. It’s thinking of every option we have, knowing we can’t choose any of them, and then replaying them again because it’s all we have.

 

It’s rough.

 

Nonetheless, it’s worth it. One day, it will just be a memory.

 

We’ll tell our grandkids about the time we survived a pandemic, seven hours apart, by ourselves.

 

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In conclusion,

 

I know people have it harder than me. If you are struggling, in any form, I am so sorry. If there is anything I can do, please reach out. If you just want someone to talk to, please reach out. No matter what your struggle is, pain is pain and pain is real. And I’m sending you all the love I can.

 

If you are going through something similar to everything you just read, let me assure you- it is okay to be in your feelings. It is okay to feel pain over this. It is okay to see this as a big problem in your life, because it is. It is also okay for people to not understand where we are coming from.

 

We are in relationships that have many different obstacles than others will ever experience, so many people (who are reading this right next to their significant other) will not understand why this hurts so much. That is okay.

 

For everyone:

 

Remember the grass will always be greener where we water and take care of it.

 

If we’re looking for something better across the street, we’re focusing on the wrong yard.

 

So, here’s to me watering what I have- my job, my blog, my life, my love. (And tons of new plants because quarantine has added me to so many FaceBook plant groups, it’s not even funny.)

 

Water what you have so you can watch it flourish. I dare you.

 

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I don’t have many other tips today, except to hang on and push through, because we’re all in this together.

 

*Hey, Siri, play High School Musical!*

 

If you have tips, comment them below or head over to my Instagram, or shoot me an email, and share them with me (You can click the mail or IG icon on this page!) I want to hear from you!

 

Also, I encourage you to share this on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest with someone who may be struggling with a long distance relationship right now!

 

And as always, strive to become your best self.

 

As always, if you need a sign to take care of yourself: this is it.

Go water something that needs to grow.

Or go water yourself, because showers are good.

Or go drink water, because #hydration.

Water, water, water.

Because as we all know:

you are the most vital character in your story!

 

Peace out, girl scouts!

… and always aim to be the best self you can be.

 

(One last thing though- I may not be able to tell you things to do right now, but I can definitely tell you what NOT to do: DON’T, and this is vital, JOIN FACEBOOK PLANT GROUPS UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE BROKE BY PLANT RETAIL THERAPY. Or, do. And then send me all the beautiful plant babies you buy!)