What is the importance of self confidence?

(and how do I get it)

If you aren’t confident in who are you, how can anyone else be? Think about future employers, family, or even partners. Let’s talk about the importance of self confidence today.

 

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If you are looking for a sign to get out of bed, take a shower, walk outside, or a simple reminder that you are important: Here it is! This is your sign!

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Why do we need to have self confidence and how do we get it?

 

Let’s start with some vocabulary: self confidence, defined by Oxford, is a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment.

 

Ask yourself these 3 questions:

1. Do you know and trust your abilities?
2. Do you know and trust your qualities?
3. Do you know and trust your judgements?

 

If you answered yes, both knowing and trusting, to these questions, you are doing pretty good! But, stick around, because we’re going to talk about why knowing and trusting these things are important!

 

If you answered yes to a few, and no to others, you’re most likely going to get the absolute most out of this post because you are getting ready to go full force on self confidence!

 

If you answered no to all, or most, of these questions, I got you! We’re going to ease you into the process of gaining self confidence by teaching you the importance of it and how to begin achieving it!

 

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If you’ve been following us for awhile, you may remember that in our last post, we dug into 6 easy self care ideas, to keep things light after going through a 4 part trauma series! We learned how to use self care for self growth after learning how to grow from trauma, which are both HUGE topics!

 

Although our previous topics can lead to much needed self awareness, which could potentially result in self growth, I want to to look into something that can directly affect your self growth, that everyone can benefit from! (You know- in the name of all becoming our best self!)

 

Today, we’re going to talk about self confidence: what, how, and why!

 

In detail, we’ll be elaborating on the three questions I asked you at the beginning of this post! As usual, we’ll begin by learning what self confidence actually is. Then, we’ll look at finding your abilities, qualities, and judgments and then close by discussing some ways to boost your self confidence by trusting in what you are capable of!

 

You’ll also get a free self confidence weekly planner at the end of this post!

 

 

Self Confidence: What, Why, & How?

 

 

What is self confidence, really?

 

In true form, to begin working on something, we must first understand what exactly it is! So, let’s get right into learning!

 

I’m sure you’re thinking, “Jess, move on with this. We all know what self confidence is.” Which, I’m sure, is true. We probably all know what the definition is (especially since I stated it in the very first few sentences of this blog post), but let’s break the term down to fully understand what it is. Im going to keep this short and sweet, there’s just a couple things I want to make note of before we talk about why having self confidence is vital!

 

[There’s a difference between knowing and understanding.]

 

Let’s quickly look at some synonyms of self confidence to better grasp what we are looking for!

 

3 synonyms for confidence:

• • Trust
  • Belief
  • Dependence

 

3 synonyms for self confidence:

• • Self-awareness
  • Self-assertiveness
  • Self-reliance

 

What I want to make sure we get understand, here, is that none of the previously listed words had anything to do with physical appearance! Did you notice that? Meaning, if you don’t think you have high confidence because you don’t think you look like the photoshopped models on your Instagram feed- this is your reassurance that that is not confidence!

 

Yes, how you feel about your physical reflection can impact your overall view of your self confidence, but we need to, and are going to, look more within ourselves! We want to truly show self confidence through who we are. We want people to remember us for our personality, knowledge, and presence, not just by our exterior skin!

 

By the end of this post, I want you to feel confidant with who you are, not so much necessarily how you think you look!

 

 

Why do I need self confidence?

 

Okay, okay. I am not going to say that you won’t be able to make it in this crazy world without self confidence, but I will go as far to say you will have a greater chance of your life ultimately thriving if you do have self confidence!

 

Here’s the thing, if you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else?

 

I want you to truly think about that.

 

Let’s list a few reasons we actually need to have self confidence:

 

• Confident people aren’t afraid of failing!

  • You’ll push yourself to take action! If you are confident in yourself, you are more than likely going to do what it takes to become successful- because you know you have it in you! There really is a tremendous amount of power in believing in yourself! Since confidence is primarily trusting in your abilities, you’ll have the self confirmation that you are able to do anything you set your mind to!

 

Here’s the catch- you can’t be afraid of failing. Knowing and trusting you can do something doesn’t mean every opportunity will work out. Self confidence is trusting your purpose, and knowing it will come together at the right time!

 

Ultimately, if you have high, healthy self confidence, you won’t mind failing at some things. You’ll know that your qualities, abilities, and judgements will take you far in life, it just may take ample work getting to certain opportunities!

 

• Relationships can be at their best when both partners are [healthily] confident in who they are and what they bring to the table!

  • Think about it: if you know what you want and know what you offer, it’s very easy to eliminate options that don’t line up with you! But, if you aren’t confident in what you stand for, where your lines are, or how you want your life to be, how is someone else supposed to acknowledge those vital parts of you?

Although I am aiming more towards intimate relationships, this can certainly apply to relationships of all types.

Being able to express your needs within your relationship (spouse, business, friend) can be the groundworks for it to flourish! It’s also important to be able to reflect and express what you can put into this relationship! This works for two reasons:

 

1. 1. 1. You make known exactly what you can offer and want to gain from said relationship. Now, people can change (remember- growing means changing), but overall there won’t be disruption in having either parties needs met, due to knowing from the beginning what is expected.
      2. This gives you the opening chance to decide if this relationship is a good fit for you.
         • Do your goals line up?
         • Are you going to be able to help the other person get where they want to be? (This can be as simple as asking yourself if you would be a good support system, cheering them on.)
         • Will the other person be able to help you get where you want to be? (Once again, this can be as simple as asking yourself if they seem to be good supporters!)
         • Will you be holding one another back in some way, shape, or form?
         • Can you benefit more if you keep your distance?

 

Not all relationships are supposed to work, but that’s for a different post.

 

Don’t get me wrong- maintaining a good, healthy relationship takes work, on all levels! But, if you go into it knowing where you stand and what you stand for, and make those answers known, I have a good feeling your relationship will succeed!

 

I should add, though, that since you will hopefully be growing and changing over time, you should be reassessing this topic often and discussing it within your relationship(s) as things change. You need to know what you have to offer, and what you want to be offered, throughout the entirety of your relationship- not just the beginning.

 

• You will be more productive!

  • Since your confidence has you shooting for success, you will probably be more productive and proactive in doing what it takes to get where you want to be!

 

I’m a ‘journal-er’, so I love keeping a checklist of To-Do lists! It holds me accountable for getting things done! More days than not, my lists are filled with stuff for this blog, and other days it appears much shorter. But, I know and trust that I have the abilities and qualities to keep my blog caught up on fresh and educational content and grow my reach organically. With that, I know it is going to take a lot of work on both the back end and front end. But, I know I have the potential of success, so I keep doing it! I am more productive because I have the confidence in working on everything I need to, so that I can reap the benefits in the long run!

 

• You’ll live as authentically as you can and have the life you actually want!

• • This seriously makes sense. If you are confident in who you are, you won’t hesitate to be exactly who you are! Isn’t that a lovely thought?!

 

Now, the key to this is finding balance! You obviously need to have self confidence, but we don’t want your ego to be through the roof, right?!

 

You may have noticed that I have emphasized having *healthy* confidence in certain places throughout this post. That’s because, as with anything, there can always be too much. You don’t want to too much, I assure you.

 

“That sounds like a slippery slope, Jess.”

 

But, it’s really not! Your confidence is for you! It is an amazing thing we need!

 

It only starts becoming unhealthy when your focus shifts to pulling others down and/or relaying on an imaginary or alter ego.

 

To keep your confidence healthy, make sure you stay focused on growing yourself and forever pushing towards your success!

 

 

How do I boost my self confidence?

 

Here’s where we start really growing! It’s time to put the what and why together and learn the how!

 

I know the thought of working on confidence can make some nauseated, but I’m here to remind you not to make it harder than it has to be!

 

Self confidence begins forming when you start recognizing how absolutely incredible of a human being you are and have the potential to be!

 

(If you don’t think that you are wonderfully and beautifully made- let me tell you… I truly believe, with my whole heart, that you were created with purpose and more potential than you’ll ever be able to show.)

 

Let’s find some ways to boost our confidence:

 

• Look good, feel good!

Take that shower, wash your face, and brush your teeth! For my girls- throw on some mascara and for my guys- wear a button down!

We feel better when we present ourselves nicely, so don’t skim over this tip!

 

• Evaluate where you want to be in life and affirm that you will get there!

Remember when we talked about affirmations on our self care post? Let’s bring that back up for a second!

By affirming what you want out of life, and who you are, you’ll be telling the universe exactly what you plan to get!

 

• Stop comparing!

First of all, you are you. Why are you comparing people in different situations, to yourself? It’s really not fair to either of you. You control your life, they control theirs. A comparison of anyone does absolutely no good. So, STOP IT!

As much as I think social media can benefit society, it can harm far worse. I think we have all (including myself) compared ourselves to someone on our Instagram feed at least once while having our accounts.

But, why? Honest question, because I don’t understand why I do it either. We literally scroll through PICTURES, a brief moment of someone’s life, and suddenly we want it.

I have two points here:

1. 1. 1. You can’t focus on growing and succeeding in your own life if you’re too busy paying attention to what someone else is doing to theirs.
      2. You’ll never know 100% of someone’s life, so don’t compare your everyday life to the brightest moments they choose to filter up and post.

 

• Dream, think, and act positively!

MY DUDE– STOP THINKING NEGATIVELY!

If you feel like a gray cloud is following you everywhere, it’s probably because you aren’t focusing on the flowers growing from the rain!

Change your perspective to change your life!

 

• Break down your big goals with smaller goals!

Sometimes, our dreams seem so far from reality, we don’t even give them a chance to begin! If you take your biggest goal, and make each step to achieving it a smaller, more manageable and current goal, you’ll come to realize you’re capable of manifesting so much more than you probably think!

 

• Continuously reflect on who you want to be!

I know it may sound silly, but tell yourself who you are and who you want to be! Literally, out loud, right now, tell yourself that you are proud of what you’ve done, how far you’ve came, and who you are becoming!

 

You don’t have to like every single thing of your past to turn into exactly who you want to be- you just have to take the initiative of growing into that person!

 

• Smile!

I mean, can I just say- smiles are literally the clothing of confidence?

 

Smiles show happiness which shows confidence in who you are!

 

This, to me, is the simplest one, but also may be the most important. Seriously, smile. No matter how you feel, force a smile! I bet, if nothing else, it’ll make you feel 1% better at minimum!

 

“Jess, why are you acting like self confidence is so important?”

 

Well, my sweet, sweet friend. I am acting like self care is vital for you to thrive because it is.

 

Confidence helps you succeed.

 

By working on boosting your confidence, you begin to boost the chance of your dreams coming true!

 

It gives you the ability to truly believe you can do anything you set out to do- and if you believe you can, I promise you really can!

 

Last but not least, here’s the final trick I can give you and probably what you’ve been waiting on:

 

 

 

Click here to download your FREE self confidence planner!

 

 

This free PDF file comes with 9 pages!

 

As you start by documenting what you wish to accomplish this week, you’ll have daily (Sunday-Saturday) pages to list your goals! It closes out with a weekly review sheet, to look back on what you finished and how you felt throughout the week!

 

To download, all you have to do is click on this link or either of the two previous pictures!

 

In closing,

 

I need you to remember:

 

Healthy self confidence can be the difference in you succeeding and you failing.

 

Make the choice on which you would rather gain, and begin working at it!

 

If you want to have accountability on boosting your confidence, click either the mail or Instagram icons on this page and get in contact with me! I’d love to talk through your goals and help you succeed in any way I can!

 

I am going to ask you to drop a comment below and tell me 2 things you love about yourself!

 

As always, if you found this helpful, please share it with your friends and family! Our aim is helping everyone become their best self, so let’s get this message out!

 

As always, if you need a sign to take care of yourself: this is it.

List out your qualities!

Learn how to say no and when to say yes!

Find your self confidence!

Because as we all know:

you are the most vital character in your story!

Peace out, girl scouts!

… and always aim to be the best self you can be.

Related articles:

6 [Easy] Self Care Ideas 

54 Confidence Quotes for Women to get that quick boost

Your Dreams Just Need Your Permission