If you are white, you are privileged.

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If you are looking for a sign to get out of bed, take a shower, walk outside, or a simple reminder that you are important: Here it is! This is your sign!

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White Privilege

We have a heavy topic today because the world is really heavy right now.

I’ll be honest: I’m nervous for this one.

But, I have a platform. You have a platform. We all have platforms.

If you aren’t using your voice, what’s the point in having it?

Today, we’re going to talk about privilege. In particular, we’re going to discuss white privilege. Becoming the Best Self is a blog for self growth and I believe growth comes from learning.

With that being said, this post isn’t for views and the aim is not to go viral because this is a highly focused topic during this heartbreaking time. We shouldn’t be scared to stand for our friends, our family, our community, our world

Our aim here, right now, is to teach.

To stand with our Black community.

We’ll see color.

As whites, we’ll recognize our privilege.

We will hear you.

Together, we will be the change.

America is not racist. But, there are racists, and racism, in America.

I’ll be defining some terms and then go into presenting some research I found. (As always, any sources used will be linked throughout the post and related articles will be listed at the bottom.) I am going to then be talking about how we, as white people, need to step up.

This isn’t going to be a post bashing white people, black people, or law enforcement. As you may know, I went to school for criminal justice and back the blue from the bottom of my heart.

I know so many amazing officers, who would do anything to serve and protect their community. But, that doesn’t mean bad apples don’t get in. You have cops who are fighting every day to protect their state or city, and when the media runs with stories that bash cops, it sets the good ones back 10 years. They have to try even harder to protect their community and still make it home to their family.

Are there corrupt cops? Absolutely there are. There are corrupt politicians, law enforcement agents, successful businessowners, teachers, and so much more. Corruption is a person-problem, not a business-problem. Meaning, corruption comes from corrupt individuals- NOT solely corrupt departments.

As I see it, this isn’t a war between the black community and cops. Maybe there is a war between law enforcement and the media. But, I am going to be focusing on the war between black people and racists. A war that whites can choose to be a part of, but blacks have no choice.

I may step on toes, get hate, or get bashed. I don’t want to come off wrong with this. I come from a very small, very country, town. I have heard many slurs. I have lost friends over my views. I’ve seen people I went to high school with get rightfully blasted for their racism. I’ve heard pastors make comments on ‘different communities’.

I don’t want to gain exposure from this post, but I do want this message to get out. I want to put out there where I stand. I stand with the black community. I stand with humanity. I stand with the good people. I stand with the people peacefully fighting for change.

You may not agree with anything I have to say. You might already be mad I mentioned white privilege. Please, though- finish this post. Read it. Open your mind. Just hear this message. I’m not trying to change your opinion, but I am going to try to help you be better- for the sake of America.

Who knows how this will be perceived? But, here we go.

 

I don’t see color

About a year ago, I made the comment to an outstanding professor (white female) very good friend (black male) that I don’t see color.

They both responded with a, ‘oof, don’t say that. Do not say that.’ And, naturally, I got defensive. I had good intentions. I didn’t understand the problem- because we all want to be seen as white, right?

I can promise you that I wasn’t actively thinking, “I don’t see color because, to me, everyone is white,” but that’s definitely what was hidden behind my statement.

Luckily, I was (and still am) very close to these two open minded and open hearted individuals, who took the time to explain the problems behind, “I don’t see color.”

When we say that we don’t see their color, we are blatantly telling the black community that we do not see who they are. We do not see them for them.

If you take away their color, you take away their history. We lose the ability to fix the adversity blacks are facing if we refuse to see their color.

So, see them. Honor them. Value them.

 

What is white privilege?

Privilege, itself, is defined as a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group.

White privilege is defined as the inherent advantages by a white person on the basis of their race in a society characterized by racial inequality and injustice.

White privilege isn’t saying that white people haven’t had to work for what they have. (Some don’t, and that’s on rich privilege, but we’re not discussing that.)

For some reason, we- as white people- get defensive on this topic. Yes, we work. We bring ourselves up from nothing. Maybe we were raised in a middle class life, but work hard for our futures. We word for our success. I’m not here to argue if we work. We do, and most of us work hard. The question isn’t if we work for what we have.

White privilege is pointing out that we have advanced opportunities due to being white. In 1964, white men didn’t have to fight for their rights. We, as white people, don’t regularly have to fight for the law to be on our side. We haven’t had to fight for protection. We haven’t had to fight to feel safe, on any given day.

We don’t easily get silenced.

*Yes, there are certain circumstances that have proved these statements wrong. Some white Americans have had to fight the law. They’ve had to make their voice heard. But, as a general synopsis, we don’t have to fight for our community to be welcomed.

Yes, some white people have had harder lives than some black people. There are very successful black people who have had amazing opportunities. There are white people who have fought for their success. There are white people who have been turned away a position that a black person got. These are the exceptions. These are not the normal.*

And, yet, we still deny having white privilege. Why don’t we, instead, recognize that we do have privilege and work on getting black people these privileges too?! That should be the goal. We should be focused on bringing black people up with us. Giving all races equal chances.

We should be focused on making sure a person has privilege because they have actually accomplished something- not because they have white skin.

 

So, do I have white privilege?

Peggy McIntosh (1986) stated the definition of white privilege as, “a psychological reality that was invisible to most whites until they took the time to look for it.”

We, as white folk, don’t see our privilege because we have it.

Think about it like this: do you agree that often times, we don’t see the blessings happening all around us in our life, because we are so focused on the things going wrong? Majority of the time, we have to step back and remind ourselves to #seethegood, because it’s way easier to see the bad.

The same goes for white privilege. If you are white, and don’t think you have any form of white privilege, I urge you to take a step back.

I also need you to hear, and say, this:

Recognizing that I have white privilege does not make me racist.

I’m not going to go heavy into this (as there are plenty of forums on proving white privilege is real), but ask yourself a couple of these questions:

1. Have you been educated (or had to educate your kids) on systematic racism for your/their own protection?

• • Your answer is most likely no. I know that my answer is no. Actually, I didn’t know that black parents taught their children about systematic racism and how society may treat them, until about 2 semesters ago. I was floored that black families have to have these conversations. I am heartbroken that my friends have to explain to their toddlers that they get nasty looks or comments because of their skin color. It makes me sick to know black teens have to be taught how to properly carry themselves so that they don’t draw more attention to their color. 

White parents of white kids- if you don’t feel like this is a conversation you need to have with your children, I’m begging you to have it. Teach your children to love and fight for humanity. Help them learn about their white privilege. Communicate with them about how they can make a difference. You may not have to teach them about how to stay safe in this world, but you can always teach them how to see, hear, and stand with others. Encourage them to be the change. Break the generational curses.

2. Is your race widely represented on social media, magazines, the news, etc?

• • Yes. I can answer that for you- YES. This doesn’t need questioning or an explanation. Yes, there are other races on social media, in magazines, and on billboards. But, what do you primarily see? Okay, then.

3. Are your coworkers racially diversified?

• • Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t. Are mine? Not by any means. Now, can I change this? No. But, I recognize it. I recognize that I work with all white people. I recognize that the majority of black people most likely can’t say they work with only their race. Now, I’m not saying that my job denies black people, because they don’t. And, I’m not saying that there aren’t all-black businesses. But, if you’re white, you most likely don’t have to think about your representation.

4. What’s your first thought when you get pulled over?

• • I’m not going to lie. I have feared my safety when I’ve been pulled over. (I’ve only been pulled over 3 times, I think.) And I was only in fear once. It was a male officer, and I’m a cute, pessimistic, young girl. I always assume the worst and I was pulled over on a backroad with no traffic. He ended up being very friendly, and after our initial meeting, I felt completely safe.

Cops are for protection. And I firmly believe majority of law enforcement want to serve and protect their community. I do back the blue. I don’t back corruption.

I digress. Black people are taught to immediately put their hands on their dash. Their initial assumption is, “this could go bad”. That breaks my heart.

Lastly, here’s a fun question for you-

5. Can you find bandaids that match your skin color in any convenience store?

• • This sounds dumb, I know. But, think about it. Can you? I can. I know there are flesh colored bandaids that match my skin. And, when I really think about it, I can’t picture any big-name bandaid company that brands black-skin-colored bandaids. Maybe I’m thinking too far into it, but shouldn’t something as small as a band aid fit everyone?

Most likely, your answers led to you having white privilege. You weren’t taught about systematic racism and how it will affect your life. You weren’t taught this because you don’t have to worry about it because you are white. I know your race is widely represented everywhere, because you are white and it is obvious. And, as silly as it is, you don’t have to look for bandaids that match your skin color, because you are white, and that’s what’s branded.

You can say that white people have worked for where we are and the power we have. You can also argue black people are the reason white people are where we are. But, what is the point of that? Neither of those arguments provide any benefits. We need to be helping each other succeed. Help each other grow. Make sure everyone is seen. Listen to everyone’s voice. All lives matter, but the white community is not the one struggling right now. With that, #blacklivesmatter.

 

How can I use my white privilege to help?

So, this is where we start, right? We recognize our privilege. We accept that we have white privilege. But what do we do?

Learn.

Guys, do your homework. Stop focusing on the news, Facebook, and Influencers to provide you with information. Research on your own. Find scholarly resources and articles on your own. Read about history. Seriously- prioritize learning.

White privilege and racism are, unfortunately, not new topics. We’re fighting an old battle. Which means there’s hundreds of years of information on these terms. Look into the real statistics, not what the media wants you to see.

Listen (and believe) their stories.

Hear what black people are saying. Listen to what has caused them to feel the way they do. Give the black community their voices.

Right now, #blacklivesmatter is trending on Instagram with #blackouttuesday posts. Sure, that’s great. But, are we listening? Are we reading the stories? Are we seeing them? Or, are we just muting our feeds to fit in?

Use your voice.

Let me explain this by using a different example:

Communities listen to their community. Your tribe will listen to you. As I explained to someone recently, if a man advocates for women’s rights to a group of men, they will hear him significantly louder than if a female advocates for it.

Race is no different. If you are white, your voice has a load of power within the white community. (That’s on white privilege. See how we are tying this all together?!) Use it.

Teach yourself and teach your community. Don’t let this issue be silenced. If you are white- use your voice in your white community. You may get backlash (I probably will), but why should that stop you? Why should you stop righting for another human’s rights because someone else disagrees? Fight for what you believe in, and this change is something to believe in.

I also want to note here that you have a platform. Everyone has a platform. For some, that platform may be coffee dates every Thursday morning with a small group of friends. For others, it’s an Instagram account with 1mil followers. No matter the size, use your voice.

Expose Injustice.

I know this goes with using your voice, but stop staying silent. You want the violence to come to an end? HEAR WHAT THE BLACK COMMUNITY IS SCREAMING.

I support the peaceful protesting. I’m actually very proud of my town for making a huge stand, peacefully. I just can’t get on board with the riots. I can’t justify them. But, here’s the thing: it’s not my place to justify it. As a white person, I will never be able to understand what it’s like to be black in this country. I don’t know what it’s like to get loud and then be silenced. So, it will never be my place to judge how the black community decides to speak out.

With that being said, yes- the destruction is killing my soul. It’s absolutely devastating. But, at the end of the day, it’s a cry of injustice. So, when will we start listening? When we start acting on what we’re seeing? When will we start exposing the injustices so we can start changing them?

So, white people, I ask you:

What are you doing with your white privilege?

As one of my best friends told me this morning: You’re going to be damned if you do, damned if you don’t. So, do.

This post isn’t published with the intentions of going viral, due to this being such a wide spread topic right now. But, please share this message. Wether you share this post, or just start using your voice, please, please get this message out. We can be the change. we have to be the change.

 

Petitions:

Justice for George Floyd

Justice for Breonna Taylor

Justice for Ahmaud Arbery

Colors of Change

As always, if you need a sign to take care of yourself: this is it.

Acknowledge your white privilege.

Expose injustice.

Love.

Because as we all know:

you are the most vital character in your story!

Related articles:

When we normalize racism and bigotry, we do violence to our mental health

Use your white privilege

Peace out, girl scouts!

… and always aim to be the best self you can be.