Fixing a Distorted Self Image

Stop struggling with a distorted self image and start healing!

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If you are looking for a sign to get out of bed, take a shower, walk outside, or a simple reminder that you are important: Here it is! This is your sign!

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*This post contains affiliate links. I do receive a small commission if you purchase a product using my link, with no addition cost to you! I promise that Becoming the Best Self will never promote anything that has not been used, fully looked into, or that we do not fully support!*

[Swimsuit by NANI SWIMWEAR]

Start Loving Your Body Image, Right Now!

(That’s not a recommendation, it’s a command.)

PODCAST + YOUTUBE VIDEO available

With summer right around the corner, I thought it may be a good time to talk about body image. (I mean, who knows if 2020 will even have a real summer, but this is a powerful topic regardless!)

Although I’m not going to be talking about Body Dysmorphia Disorder specifically, we are going to be looking at ways to overcome our negative thoughts about ourselves.

Every single person you’ve ever met has their own perceived image of you. And, guess what? You have your own perceived image of you. But, at the end of the day, the only thing that really matters is what you think of yourself. Not anyone else, just you.

This is why I push learning ourselves so much. If you truly take the time to learn who you are, what you offer, and what makes you unique, you’ll soon begin to seriously love yourself!

What is ‘self image’?

As usual, we have to learn some definitions first! We can’t begin to combat things that we don’t understand.

 

 

Self Image: 

Well, as defined by National Eating Disorders Collaboration, body image is “the perception that a person has of their physical self and the thoughts and feelings that result from that perception.”

Self image, then, is the perception that a person has of their entire self.

In simpler terms, your body image is how you see yourself: inside and out. It is the image of you, that you have created, for yourself.

There are 4 parts that make up your self image:

1. How you see your body (perceptual)
2. How you feel about your body (affective)
3. How you think about your body (cognitive)
4. How you behave because of the previous 3 listed (behavioral)

Distorted Self Image:

Now, this one is pretty self explanatory, but we’ll semi-explain it anyways.

Having a distorted self image means that you do not see yourself the way you truly are.

Most likely, it also means you think everyone around you perceives you negatively as well. (Which isn’t true, I’m here to say.)

I don’t want to go too in depth here, because we don’t want to focus on negativity, but this is important to know.

If you have a negative self image, you don’t love yourself correctly. With that, you aren’t going to be able to live up to your best self, because you don’t think you have much to offer. Oh, boy, but you do.

This is what we’re going to begin trying to overcome today- losing a distorted self image.

 

Positive Self Image:

Ah, the focus of today!

A positive self image is probably exactly what you assume: perceiving yourself in a positive manner! You are comfortable and content with yourself: physically, mentally, and spiritually!

If you have a positive self image, you are no doubt proud of yourself! You know what you bring to the table and are happy with who you are!

Even though you realize that you aren’t perfect, you understand that you are doing your best and that your best IS good enough!

This is what we’re going to begin trying to accomplish today- finding a positive self image!

 

What affects my self image?

Honestly? Nearly everything affects it.

Between watching Netflix, scrolling on social media, and even just listening to people judge other’s appearance in a bar on Friday nights, the whole social world is constantly telling you what other people want which makes you constantly question what you have.

To get more specific, though, a clinical psychologist listed three components to having a positive self image:

1. Self-esteem

2. A postive attitude

3. Emotional stability

 

Throughout the rest of this blog post, we’ll be diving face first into ways you can leave that distortion behind and gain a positive self image!

*This post contains affiliate links. I do receive a small commission if you purchase a product using my link, with no addition cost to you! I promise that Becoming the Best Self will never promote anything that has not been used, fully looked into, or that we do not fully support!*

13 Tips to Improve Your Self Image

 

1.Be healthy, not skinny

Too often, people get caught up in ‘being skinny’. They want the thigh gap and single chin. It’s the aesthetics that matter, right?

Wrong. It’s time to focus on your health, not appearance.

When you go to the doctor, do the staff look at you and tell you what’s wrong? Or, do they check your weight, measure your blood pressure, and listen to your heartbeat first?

Our health is a priority, not our body.

Having a positive body image means being proud of the skin you’re in. While it is important to be proud of your physical appearance, you need to actually focus on how healthy your body is.

First of all, healthy feels good. When you feel good, you have higher confidence. Higher confidence means you are loving yourself!

Secondly, your health can kill you. Your pant’s size won’t.

Some ways to start a healthier lifestyle:

• Fix healthy snacks. We often eat as reflex to many of our emotions, so make sure you have readily available healthy snacks!

 

• Join a gym. Most branded gyms offer a variety of beginner and intermediate classes if you aren’t wanting to workout by yourself! But, I do recommend meeting some people on the gym floor. Often times, everyone is willing to help.

 

• Stop eating out. It’s harder to actually track what you are eating when you go to a restaurant. I definitely encourage you to still enjoy your nights out, but fix dinner at home more than you order it out!

 

• Take up yoga. Yoga is a great fitness practice and also provides you with meditation for your soul. Check out some of these yoga mats and wipes if you don’t trust the ones at your local gyms/ studios!

 

• Stretch out. A healthy body needs to be just as flexible as it is strong. (This is the hardest for me, even though I never regret stretching because it feels SO good!) You can grab a foam roller and go to town in your own room!

 

2. Focus on non-scale achievements (NSA)

I remember the first time my mom told me she had a ‘NSA’. She told me she had her first NSA and I said, “umm, what?”

Delightful memory. (She’s probably reading this going, ‘mhmm, I taught her that.’ And, even though I don’t think I’ve ever told her this, NSA’s have stuck with me ever since! So, thanks, momma. ♥ )

“Well, Jess. Are you going to tell us what the heck they are?!”

Hold your horses, cowboy. I’m getting there!

NSA’s are non-scale achievements. They’re exactly what they sound like! It’s any achievement that isn’t made from a scale number.

Okay, so when it comes to body image, most people pay attention to their weight. Instead of focusing on all of the accomplishments you are getting, you choose to only watch the scale number fluctuate.

Now, I could go through the ins and outs of why you can’t trust the number on the scale, but I’ll just say this: you are not defined by that number.

3. Clean up your social media

Go through your feed and unfollow EVERY account that makes you feel less than amazing.

Seriously. If it’s not inspiring you, don’t follow it. Don’t give attention to things that don’t help you grow.

Social media is, in my opinion, one of the easiest ways to gain a distorted self image.

So, clear out your social media.

Here’s an example:

I primarily use Instagram in terms of social media.

To do a ‘refresh and clear out’, I have been going through the accounts I follow alphabetically.

If you just start going through all the people you’re following, it may seem overwhelming.

But, if you go from a-z, one letter a day, you’re account will be clean of the negativity in approximately 26 days!

I used to be following upwards of 3,000 accounts and now I’m down to about 1,700. I’m still working on my account because I don’t want to be following people I don’t actively engage with.

What accounts should you follow?

You want to follow accounts that help you grow, push you to success, and overall make you feel good! Whether it’s from the pictures posted, story boomerangs, or captions, the accounts you follow should increase your happiness.

What account do you not want to follow?

If you look at a profile and find yourself comparing anything about yourself to what they are showing on their platform, unfollow them. We don’t need to live in a world of comparison.

When we start comparing our bad days to the best days influencers are posting, the distortion starts.

I also recommend not following accounts putting out content that shames or degrades anyone.

Once again- if it isn’t benefitting you in some way, u n f o l l o w.

If it’s giving you a distorted self image, u n f o l l o w.

 

4. Give 5 positive comments for every 1 negative comment

*Although we’re primarily looking at things we need to be doing for ourselves, it won’t harm you to implement this tip into every relationship you have.

What if I told you that every comment you receive, from either yourself or someone else, creates a chemical reaction in your mind?

Do you remember when we talked about chemical reactions with neurotransmitters on our self care post?

One of our bodies happy drugs that we discussed was oxytocin. Oxytocin is what forms your trust in someone or something.. It doesn’t last long but feels really good while its there!

(One of the reasons we may need reassurance from close people in our life.)

So, positive comments tell your body to produce oxytocin. Which is great!

But, negative comments produce cortisol.

Cortisol is quite the opposite of oxytocin and is often called the “stress-hormone“. It is a steroid hormone that is much more powerful and longer lasting than our natural happy drugs.

“How do oxytocin and cortisol tie into positive and negative comments, directly?”

Scientists have said that it takes 5-7 positive comments to counter the effects of a negative comment.

With cortisol being so much stronger, you have to have a relatively big abundance of oxytocin to counter the effects of the negative comment.

Today, I encourage you start a new rule: for every negative comment you receive, give yourself 5 positive compliments.

For every negative comment you catch yourself saying (whether it be to yourself or someone else), immediately follow it up with 5 positive comments!

5. Write down something you love about yourself- every day

If you don’t already, it’s time to start journaling. Now, I’ve talked about the importance of journaling before, but today we’re going to add a new layer!

Along with writing about your thoughts and feelings, write something you love about yourself, every single day.

I know “keeping a diary” isn’t the most manly thing to do, but GUYS- y’all need to do this too!

Have you ever heard that, when studying, writing your notes can help you retain the information?

Think about this concept in terms of writing about yourself. If you write what you love about your mind, body, and soul, you’ll have the words engraved in your brain!

That way, when you think about yourself, the first words that will come to mind will be all the things you love about yourself!

Pro tip- hang a small mirror in your room. Every day, write one thing you love about who you are- physically, internally, etc.

At the end of each week, read the 7 things written out loud! Then, erase those things, and start again!

 

6. Invest in yourself

With the many ways you can invest in yourself, this should always be a priority!

Don’t ever stop learning and progressing. We want you to become your best self, right? Never limit your growth.

Part of gaining a positive self image is being proud of who you are.

Being proud of who are means that you have taken the time to truly invest in who you are, what you know, and what you offer!

School is expensive, and certainly not for everyone, but you may consider applying to an online college! Get, or further, a degree in the comfort of your home, during your own time! An online college isn’t your only tool, though.

If you go to Google, YouTube, or Pinterest, you’re liable to find any bit of information you could ever want, on literally any topic. It may take some digging, and countless hours, but you can learn anything for free if you have enough dedication to it.

Not only do you have access to an insane amount of free education from the great world-wide web, you also have so many courses and ebooks that can teach you things from experts themselves.

The best part of e-courses or e-books? They take the find-and-search out of your time! The creators of e-courses have already spent countless amounts of time perfecting their content for you, so all you have to do is go through the material and learn. You don’t have to piece everything together and perform trial and errors.

If you can’t afford an online course, do not put yourself in debt just to take one. But, if you are thinking of beginning an e-course, here are some courses I’d recommend, in various topics:

 

• Create and Go blogger bundle: If you are wanting to start a blog, this is perfect for you! This course was created by Alex Nerney & Lauren McManus, who both make 6-figures on each of their multiple blogs! Not only do they have proof of their income to back their methods, they are both incredibly sweet people to work with! Once you purchase their blogger course, you’re added to the FaceBook group where you can personally work with them!

 

• Pinterest Traffic Avalanche: Also created by Alex and Lauren, this course gives you the ins and outs of working Pinterest. (It seems like a no brainer. It’s just an app, right?) If you use Pinterest correctly, it could be what creates the success of your business! (This is included in the bundle above, but if you don’t want to start a blog, you can get this course separately!)

 

• Photography bundle: This bundle has 19 products in it and walks you through photography. It discusses lighting, composition, and editing. (Oh, and it talks about both camera and iphone photography. *winks*)

 

• Launch a Podcast: By A Beautiful Mess, this course teaches you what you need to know about starting, and launching, a podcast! They walk you through choosing a format, uploading content, getting sponsors, and everything in between!

Those are just a few of the MILLIONS of courses you can find. But, if you’re looking into blogging, podcasts, or photography, I recommend checking some of those out!

Invest in yourself so that you can be proud of yourself!

 

7. Stay busy

Here’s my theory on staying busy to counter the distorted self image you give yourself:

For starters, if you are busy, you don’t have time to be negative with yourself.

So, there’s always that.

Furthermore, if you stay productive, you’ll continuously get closer to reaching your goals!

I mean, be honest- what would make you more proud than successfully achieving your goal(s)?

Knowing that a positive self image comes from how you think and feel about yourself, staying busy will make you accomplish many things!

You’ll be able to look back and see everything you started and finished!

If you’re looking for a way to track your productivity and begin working on setting attainable goals, check out this productivity bundle course!

Related article: 11 WAYS TO BOOST YOUR PRODUCTIVITY (AND CRUSH YOUR GOALS)

 

8. Practice Affirmations

If you’ve read some of our other posts, affirmations shouldn’t be a new concept for you!

But, in case you aren’t familiar with them, affirmations are when you speak highly, positively, and encouragingly to yourself about your life as though you are speaking these things into existence.

So, how do they help your self image? When are talking positivity into your life, you’re more likely to experience it!

When you start thinking positive thoughts about everything around you, you’ll start thinking positive thoughts about yourself as well!

A few affirmations to say now:

• I work hard!

• I am strong!

• I am proud of who I am!

• I am valuable!

If you want to work on this, download our affirmations sheet!

 

9. Talk about yourself

It may sound selfish, but talk about yourself!

How many times does someone say, “tell me about yourself,” and instead of talking about yourself, you’re left stuck?

Don’t be that person. Be proud of who you are. Love yourself. Don’t be ashamed of talking about yourself!

At the end of the day, you should be your biggest fan.

Not only does talking about yourself remind you how incredible you are, it also shows your confidence to others!

If the idea of talking about yourself alone or to others scares you, just find one thing you are really proud of that you’ve done in your life. Write about it.

Then, practice talking about it with your close friends and family!

Once you’re comfortable talking about that particular topic, start adding more to your conversational ice-breakers!

 

10. Continuous self-care

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand time. Take care of yourself. You are important. Act like it.

Self care doesn’t always mean face masks and bubble baths, either. Sometimes, self care is knowing when to walk away from people. Maybe it’s taking time to be by yourself.

Regardless of how you choose to do it, make sure you practice self care.

If you need some tips on beginning self care, you can also check out our self care blog post!

Ultimate bundles also has a self care bundle e-course that comes with ways to take care of your mind, body, and soul.

For a free workbook, download your own self care tracker here!

Related ARticle: 6 [Easy] Self Care Ideas

 

11. Treat Yourself

Listen, treating yourself doesn’t mean you have to spend $1,000 on that name brand bag.

But, if you have the appropriate funds, go treat yourself! I highly recommend retail therapy if you have the fun money set aside to do so!

Also, treating yourself could be dressing nicely and taking yourself to dinner.

Maybe, it’s just lighting a candle and taking a hot bath.

If you’re looking for ways to make yourself feel good, check out Cratejoy boxes!

You can choose a box to have sent to you every month, without having to step foot into a store!

As I say with so many things, don’t overcomplicate it.

 

12. Surround yourself with positive people

Don’t you know? We become like the people we are around the most!

If you’re wondering why you’re so negative, look at who you are surrounded with. Are they uplifting, encouraging, thoughtful, and positive people?

If not, why is that your tribe?

Happiness is good and contagious! But, so is misery and misery loves company.

You need to surround yourself with people that want to see you at your best and help you get there. These are the people who keep it 100% with you.

They may tell you what you need to hear, in a constructively critical way, but also remind you how important you are.

By constantly being surrounded by positivity, you are going to be more inclined to be positive with yourself!

If you want to get a good gauge on how positive or negative you are, look around you. You are what you attract. If your life is filled with positivity, you’re probably doing pretty good mentally, physically, and spiritually.

On the flip side, if everyone around is negative, you probably feel like you have a constant raincloud above you. We don’t want that, do we?

Stick with people that lift you up, not tear you down and distort your self image.

 

13. Wear what makes you feel good

Look good, feel good. Am I right or am I right?

Stop staying in pajamas or sweatpants all day.

If you want a boost in self confidence and self image, take some time to look presentable and enjoy it!

With summer coming, I snagged some Nani swimsuits that I am in LOVE with.

My favorite one is the one piece I’m wearing in all of the pictures on this post. And, for my girls- it has POCKETS!

A little background on the Nani brand:

Nani is the Hawaiian word for ‘beautiful’.

My favorite part about this entire brand is that they are centered around helping women feel confident and beautiful in their swimsuits!

Nani is all about embracing the real you. That means no photoshop and no fakes.

(Also- fun fact: more than half of the Nani swimsuits made in 2020 have been made from recycled plastic water bottles! Therefore, we got ethical manufacturing going on, too.)

If you’re looking for the perfect swimsuit to rock this summer, head over to the Nani swimwear website and shop around!

*The Nani links aren’t affiliate links, but I highly recommend their suits!*

 

 

All in all…

You are important. You are the most important part of your life. It is vital that you realize that.

Begin loving exactly who you are and who you’re becoming.

I hope these 13 tips on fixing a distorted self image were helpful!

In the comments, drop one way you work on how you perceive yourself.

If you know anyone that this post could benefit, go share it with them! You can send this post, our Youtube video, or our podcast.

Let’s spread the word of the importance of having a positive body image!

 

As always, if you need a sign to take care of yourself: this is it.

Recognize some NSA’s.

Clean up your social media.

Learn to love yourself!

Because as we all know:

you are the most vital character in your story!

RELATED ARTICLES:

HOW TO GET SELF CONFIDENCE

SELF CARE TIPS

WHY WORKOUT?

ATTRACT POSITIVITY

Learn how to CRUSH YOUR GOALS

*This post contains affiliate links. I do receive a small commission if you purchase a product using my link, with no addition cost to you! I promise that Becoming the Best Self will never promote anything that has not been used, fully looked into, or that we do not fully support!*

Peace out, girl scouts!

… and always aim to be the best self you can be.